High-Conflict Separations & Divorces

Separation and divorce is already extremely hard to go through. Aside from the logistical aspects like the division of assets, separation/divorce often comes with a heavy emotional burden. If you have children together, you've got a lot more to navigate.

Sorting out such important details with someone you've separated/divorced from is a unique kind of stress. To be completely blunt: you've broken up for a reason. Whatever those reasons are, they're usually big and important. If they weren't big and important, you probably wouldn't have shifted your lives. This is likely one of the most stressful phases of your life (even when the separation/divorce is a good thing).

"High-conflict" is a term used to describe the interactions between separated/divorced parents who struggle - frequently and intensely - to agree on a lot of child-related parenting decisions. Even the smallest decisions can feel like a heavy burden. Communication is full of disagreements that often include emotional digs, passive aggressive comments, angry and aggressive arguements, or refusal to communicate.

This intense communication pattern often leads to:

1. Significant delays in decision making

2. Persistent emotional tension

3. Children being caught in the middle

In future articles, I will break down each of these 3 outcomes in further detail. For now, I'll list some options that may help you navigate this difficult dynamic.

Communication Supports

Our Family Wizard is an app that supports parents with communication (a texting app), document sharing (like medicare cards and birth certificates), and more. Family lawyers have recommended this app. Here is the link to their main page: www.ourfamilywizard.com

Legal Supports

Public and Legal Education and Information Services is a New Brunswick (PLEIS-NB) organization that offers a variety of information for parents going through separation/divorce for free or at a low cost for those who qualify. Their website is: legalinfonb.ca

The UNB Legal Clinic offers free legal advice to those who cannot afford legal representation and are not eligible for legal aid. While they do not offer specific advice for family divorce separations that are contended, they do offer information on topics that may be relavent, like housing/tenancy, immigration and refugee support, and others. Their website is: www.unb.ca/fredericton/law/services/legalclinic.html

If you are looking to hire a lawyer, you can visit the Law Society of NB website here: https://lawsociety-barreau.nb.ca/en or jump to their search website here: lsbnb.alinityapp.com/client/publicdirectory

If you are self-representing, and are looking to formally initiate or respond to a court matter, you can find NB's legal forms here (be sure to visit the rule list at the very top of the page to ensure you're meeting the required court timelines and procedures, like serving documents): https://www.courtsnb-coursnb.ca/content/cour/en/kings-bench/content/family-division/court-forms.html

Therapeutic Supports

Its common for the chronic stress of high-conflict separation/divorce to build up and lead to really intense emotional struggles. If you find yourself in that position, support is available. It can sometimes be tricky to find timely mental health support, so here are a few places you can start:

Public mental health services (no-cost, may have a long waitlist): https://www.gnb.ca/en/topic/health-wellness/mental-health/mental-services.html

Private mental health services (personally funded, often through health insurance plans provided by employer) (you can google therapists/counsellors, or use Psychology Today): www.psychologytoday.com

For mental health emergencies, you can visit your nearest hospital, or call the Mobile Crisis Unit (no-cost, urgent care): https://horizonnb.ca/services/addictions-mental-health/adult-services/mobile-crisis-unit/

For parents and children, you can also use the Kid's Help Phone (call, text, and/or access web resources): https://kidshelpphone.ca

We all want what's best for our children. It can be tough to agree upon what that truly is, especially when you and your ex aren't on the same page about other big issues. Getting outside support is one of the best ways to ensure that the children remain at the center of all decisions.

Come back soon for another article on how to support your children when they ask tough questions, show signs of regression and/or distress, or become emotionally sensitive and/or reactive.

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Written by Katherine White, BA, BSW, MEd, MSW, RSW

Child & Parent Therapist, Clinical Social Worker

Published: January, 2026